Rewind.

So over these past few years life has been nice enough too me... I guess?

Life in secondary school does has its fair share of ups and downs. I remember what I was like in Lower Secondary. Utterly childish(maybe still am), narrow-minded and completely oblivious to the inner workings of social life. I shrugged off my responsibilities all the time and treated relationships like hand-held games. But there was the good. I forged some of the most important and heartwarming friendships ever in my life. I still miss the times when I would just hang out with my friends to play and completely relax, not having any problems to worry about. Studies? Pffft. Back then I was still getting decent grades. Social life? Seamless. When you're fourteen going on fifteen, and so forth to sixteen, you barely had to give a damn about betrayal, lies, scheming- the list goes on. Everyone(or at least most people) was content at least eighty-percent of the time.

I had my own list of eye-candies and infatuations too, sure. Back in those days we would always gossip and talk about any jewels we could find in the school. Sounds nasty, but we've all done that at least once ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Then came Upper Secondary. It was like a great tsunami- it brought forth great change, and the one thing it's most famed for: a monolithic, flawlessly packaged, immaculately polished tidal wave of bullshit. (Make sure you add the stress on "bull"- makes it sound better)

People changed. And I'm not talking about bulging muscles, pubic hair or cup size. I'm talking about personality and character. Mixing around with new people and doing new things- it can do horrible things to people. Many of people grew detached, developed the wrong bonds with people, got backstabbed- I watched the whole cycle. Over the course of 2 years I saw many people throwing themselves into the deep ends of the abyss. Losing hope, losing their faith in life. People becoming complete As. We must all eventually learn to grow up- not in the sense that of cracking less childish jokes(One of my closest pals has the humor of an eight-year old)- but in the sense that we cannot harbor grudges for the most trivial reasons. I came across this line recently:



Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the price of energy and the waste of headspace.



Just spare some of your time and think about it.
That's all for a quick wrap-up of my mental being throughout these years. There's so much to talk about, but I think I'll end this post here for now.