Love

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."

- Bob Marley

The Demon Within

So I came across this really epic parody-pasta a few days ago while surfing the net and I thought you guys might like it!



[ It's past midnight now, and I still had a while until I arrived at my destination. The girl I picked up an hour ago was asleep in the seat beside me. She was a hitchhiker. I couldn’t leave a teenager out alone at night in the pouring rain, so I had to pick her up. She seemed pretty happy that someone was finally willing to give her a ride.

I didn’t know her real name, only that her friends call her “Jo.” She looked so calm, so peaceful. Her brown hair obscured half her of her gorgeous face, her lips flexed in a barely noticeable smile. She must be having a nice dream.

I tried to remember the last dream I had, but had no luck. Then, I felt it; a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time. A terrible, ugly feeling. I looked down at the girl as I drove, hoping her smiling face might help me overcome and not give in to the demon within… but I could feel it clawing to get out.

I didn’t want to. I couldn’t. I needed to get the girl out of the car, but that would take too long. It would happen before then.

I continued to struggle, fighting an inner battle. Then… No. I couldn’t contain it. It happened: I let out the most monstrous fart I’d ever released. It was legendary. It was the kind of thing kids would tell stories about to scare younger kids.

I reluctantly looked to see if the beast that escaped my body had woken the girl. It hadn’t, but the smile had faded and she looked to be having a nightmare now. ]



Read more at http://www.creepypasta.com/the-demon-within/#C8W03dsK3kKgYSEf.99

Back!

Oh look, my last post was 2 months ago LOL.

'O' Levels ARE OVER!!!

This is the kind of statement that needs to be shouted from the highest rooftop and/or mountain peak, but due to an aversion to heights and hiking, I've decided to go with their modern equivalent: the Internet! So here I am, arms outstretched in my best Rocky pose, sun streaming at my back, voice trembling with raw emotion as I shout through the beard I've grown for some reason:

'O' Levels ARE OVER!!!

And it's high time to party hard! So everyone thinks. I really thought life after Os would be more... I'm not exactly sure how to put it. Now it feels rather dry and lifeless, like these 2-3 months aren't going to be all as spiff as we thought. But oh well! At least I can now finally put all my books aside...

Spending the last one-and-a-half weeks in Italy, I relished once again the feeling of being overseas and away from all the drama in Singapore. As my third time in Europe, the trip felt like 8 parts ennui and 2 parts exciting. I found myself desperate to return to the hotel everyday for Wi-Fi to check on my phone and all that social-media business. So I guess I'm guilty as charged of being a "typical 21st century teenager".

Having said that, I did steal a haul of photos everywhere I went, and the entire album is up on Instagram. Yes, I grew tired of individually posting every photo I have up here, and I figured if you're reading this right now you've probably seen the photos already so GO GO GO!!! Double-tap and comment and feed my "notifications-addiction".

And I went rather bonkers shopping. I ain't a shopaholic but hell, the stuff there was ridiculously cheap! I spent like 300€ in a week. My parents went for the more branded stuff so I think overall my family blew about 2-3K€ ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

So now you're wondering (nah you're not, but it's nicer to put things that way), what about life before this trip? Did I spend it all rotting at home and playing DotA 2?

I went job-hunting on the first day after Os with the Outsiders (Brandon, Zach, Anson and Damien) and we went to fill up forms at Raffles Hotel. To cut a long story short, both parties left a rather bad impression on the other and (thank God) we didn't get the job. In the days that ensued, my mum managed to introduce us to her ex-boss, who was looking for juveniles our age whom had just finished 'O'/'A' Levels and were looking for jobs. I won't disclose the name of the company here but the tasks were largely associated with IT stuff and other computer-related business that we teenage boys are often stereotyped to be exceptional at (pretty true, actually). So yeah! Now I have a job. Brandon and Zach went to work late-night shifts at a bistro. God bless those two fellas.

On the second-third day, I had a class chalet with 402 and it was decent! We spent most of the night just lepak-ing and playing group-games. Icebreakers, if you would...? And I had to chomp on an onion. Urghhhhhh. Early the next day (we're talking about 4-5AM here), Weng Kong, Zach and I joined remaining classmates who had stayed the night for breakfast at Changi Village, while we decided to head over to Pulau Ubin to spend our day. I tried hauling Isaac and Damien along but they were dead-beat so only about 8 of us went. It was still pretty fun trekking to Chek Jawa and back tho! I went home afterwards so only Zach, Shaun, WK and Eamon stayed the second night. :P

And then on the 20th, GRADUATION NIGHT. The Councilors had outdone themselves yet again and they did a fantastic job making sure we graduates made ourselves some memories :) Your retired Vice-President is proud. So there was the standard order of activities, photos, tears and ladadeedadeee and the Outsiders left for Eugene's house afterwards to spend the night.

Cutting a long story short, we got shit wasted and it was a noteworthy re-enactment of The Hangover.

I spent the rest of the day rushing errands and packing for said Italy trip above.

The Saturday before I left for Italy, I watched Escape Plan with Ruth :] It was a decent movie, and worthy of the highly-positive reviews it was given, but I was sorta expecting a little more kick :( I guess after watching Man of Steel, conventional action movies didn't quite meet the mark for me. I mean, how do you beat the copious amounts of ass that was kicked in that DC movie?

We chose Bugis for that day, and ended up walking around aimlessly afterwards when we couldn't find anywhere to slack. For all the commercial development in that area we couldn't find anything to do ._. I won't be going Bugis again anytime soon ╚(•⌂•)╝

And then there was Open House, which fell on one of the days, I can't really remember. But I know that that was one of the busiest days I had because after the event, I had a movie date with Eamon, Randy and Peter and afterwards I had to rush for my dental appointment to check on my wisdom teeth and my molars.

Basically, my dental problem goes like this: Both my second molars on the lower set of teeth have grown very slanted because my teeth were too big for my gums. And I hated carrots since I was young. With all four of my wisdom teeth growing as well, the main problem would be having to go through all the necessary operations successively, with the extraction of the wisdoms coming before the braces. BRACES. ARGH //

After the appointment, I met up with Naeson and Ian for the first time after like what, 2 months? We had a really worthwhile catch-up at Marina Square and MBS. We don't hang out as much anymore what with all our schedules always clashing and all but hey, that doesn't really change anything!

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to end off a really wordy post that half of you probably only skimmed through with the words already leaking out of your ears, I had an eventful and memorable start to my holidays and I hope all you did too :) Okay peace out, diamonds and love people

Update!

It's been so long since I last posted!

Since my last post, I've been rather busy with Prelims and what with O's being just round the corner and stuff. Pretty uneventful bunch of weeks, couldn't really do anything else but study... I got back my Chinese O's results, and they're über bad. I'll be retaking, and hopefully I'll score a decent grade at the end of the year. (Y)

Just a few days ago I caught up with Mr Lim and Doran, and we ate at Satay by the Bay and visited the Cloud Dome. Man that place is dope.

Mr Lim's leaving for the Royal Welsh Academy in the UK for a year, and I'm pretty sure everyone's gonna miss him real bad. Cheers to his success and all the best there! (ノ^_^)ノ

Yesterday I chilled out with the gang again! We went for a ride at ECP.

And Brandon intro-ed me to an utterly orgasmic plate of Ipoh Hor Fun. Thumbs up>>>

So yeah that's about it for this update, I'm still in the midst of Prelims so I'll blog again in a couple of weeks! Peace out. ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Blog Re-design

So I did a massive re-designing of my blog. I looked up wolf pictures on Alpha Coders and after like 5 minutes I found this freakin' cool epic awesome picture of one. I have an insane fetish over wolves now mainly because of my name's relation to them. Fenrir, shield-wolf and all that canine jazz. I mean, can it be any more Randall? :D HAHA.

I haven't blogged in the longest time. My last update was around three weeks ago, and several things had transpired since then. Not many of which I can mention here, but an aliased depiction would do no harm :) But they're stories for another time, 'cos I've got to scoot pronto.

So during the last week of the June Holidays I spent well in study sessions with my beloved brotha and sistas.

Then a casual lunch date with Ariel.

A buffet at The Line, Shangri-La.

In.Fusion SYF Celebrations at the Esplanade with the gang.

A Study Session with my homies.

And then a study date with Ruth.

Yes so that was a crash course of my last three weeks, in between all the non-stop mugging. Bumped into Premjit the other day and he offered lots of advice on the final lap to Os. One thing's for sure- we can't burn out and we certainly can't give in now! It's the absolute finality to a life well lived in Temasek.

Till the next update, peace :)

Updates

What is up people! It's been a while since I last posted. Been quite preoccupied lately, what with all the camps and stand-down nights and all.

The past two weeks have been quite eventful for me. There were Stand-down ceremonies for both Council and Choir. Instead of just rattling on and on I'll let these pictures speak for themselves.

Needless to say I miss them all dearly.

And then there was Mr Eric Tan's A-Maths "torture" camp, which was quite fun actually. We drilled non-stop did papers until 0345 for the first night, and 0200 the second. But I developed a fever during the second night and the rest of the camp was just screwed up for me. Price of not bringing my jacket. Brrrrrrr. ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿

Peace out.

P.S. It's quite obvious I got all these photos from Instagram LOL

MTL 'O's

Chinese O-levels are finally over. Not sure how I did, but I know I didn't complete the paper. Expecting a high C5/low B4. If I clinch the B, I foresee myself retaking the exam at the end of the year.

I really appreciate all the hard work that the teachers had put in for us. Through the past whole week of the Mother-Tongue Intensive programme, I believe all of us students could see the monumental effort they had made in ensuring that we do well, or at least pass the exam today. We slogged; they slogged harder. 吴老师 even arranged to meet up with us at Subway even after the school had closed to run through our papers with us :) I know the other teachers had made similar arrangements too.

Of course, it's not only the Mother-Tongue department making compromises for us, there are other unsung heroes who have sacrificed valuable time for us, teaching us and marking our bullshit-in-ink, to make sure that we excel in life and become better people.

A friend once shared with me his take on moral values in life. I remember what he said vividly: "In life, there are three groups of people you should always respect. First of all, your parents. That goes without saying. Secondly, the higher-ups of our society. These aren't always the rich- bishops, priests, and societal leaders who earn the respect of others before them, who always put others before themselves. Last but not least, your teachers, for the imparting of knowledge on to others is a humble deed second to none."

Oh damn.

Honestly... what was I expecting?

I actually felt like I did better than last time. But life loves surprising us, so when the bullshit comes, it's when you least expect it. I put in 200% the amount of effort I did than the previous one. Seems like even 1000% won't be enough.

Now I have to pull through this period of mental and spiritual torture again. It sucks. It really does. To harbor soul-crushing thoughts in your head, to feel like you've let everyone down. To feel like everyone looks down on you. Especially those academically well-to-do ones. They often act like they're so concerned and sympathetic towards you and your welfare, but how often is it that these gestures of affection and empathy are true? Many of them probably just wanna see you plummet to the bottom of the abyss and rot.

I've never expressed my heartfelt feelings on the net before. It's because people usually judge you so hard. People start making assumptions and leaping to conclusions faster than they can even fit themselves in our torn and tattered shoes. The contemporary human world is more-often-than-not a cruel one to live in and sometimes it feels like you're nothing but a waste of space. The vast majority is only concerned with him/herself. Think about it. How many TRULY selfless acts have you carried out in life so far? You can probably count them with your fingers. You probably already think I'm some self-presumptuous man-bitch right now.

And it's not like I'm not aware of others that are trapped within the gaping maw of Suffering. Many of my closest friends belong to this group of people. Over-dosage of anti-depressants, suicidal tendencies. They've survived far worse ordeals than us, and probably endure worse things in a day than all you ever had in your life summed up together. Wait till you know their full stories.

I feel my heart becoming serpentine. My conscience is irrevocably freezing up, albeit in near-insignificant amounts every day. Apathy is gaining dominance. If you wanna thaw the ice. Go ahead. You're sincerely welcome to try.

I only want to unbottle all the pent-up emotions within, and there's no finer place to do it than online, right? We're compelled to do stupid and foolish things sometimes. I'm probably gonna regret posting this but... I just have to.

Peace.

Exams Over!

Mid-Years are finally over!

The past two weeks have been quite hellish, but we've managed to pull through haven't we. I don't think I did that well... but what I'm satisfied about is how much I've improved since last FYE. Sure, it might not be those F9-A1 leaps, but I did climb a few grades for my worst subjects. :D

It's time to party hard... for a really short while. Chinese Os are just round the corner, and I've definitely got to make it a one-time thing. If I get a decent grade for this, I won't have to take them again at the end of the year. Profit, yes? :)

Gym, Eat, Study

So I have this Saturday thing going on now- every time after my EMaths tuition (4pm), I would head on down to Pasir Ris Sports and Recreational Centre for some gym, swimming, dinner and studying with Brandon and Damien. Things seemed pretty tentative and uncertain at first but we managed to develop a routine, and it's going pretty well.



It really helps us to unwind from one whole week of stress and schoolwork :D
Studying after a nice and refreshing workout is probably the most productive way to do it, in my opinion. Of course there's still lots of Rot Talk, but it's something (ノ^_^)ノ

Still knee deep in exams, but past the halfway mark! The papers have been relatively OK so far, hoping that next week will be better :) Will try to update the blog again as soon as possible. Peace ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

MYE Preparation

Haven't blogged for quite a while, so just gonna add this tiny post to fill the void.

Mid-Year Examinations are next week, and I feel like I'm going full steam ahead... into an abyss.

I've only started studying seriously like a month before. I honestly don't feel confident at all about my Chemistry, A-Maths and Physics. Plus, with Chinese Os almost right after the exams, things look really bleak ಥ_ಥ

Having said that, my grades have been improving and I'm not gonna let this demotivate me. Like my teachers said, MYE for Secondary 4 is like a mass-fail event. Everything now, every failure and mistake, are lessons we should learn from and we shouldn't let these be dead-weights that pull us down. If you're reading this and you're taking the O'Level Examinations this year, don't give up. 7 months are enough for you to catch up.

Lots of big talk, but will I walk the talk? We'll see. Peace!

Speech Day 2013

Lo and behold, Temasek's 32nd Speech Day 2013!

Although being a formal awards ceremony for academic and CCA achievements, it is more commonly known as "CCA stand-down" and "Council stand-down". These mean that on Speech Day, the graduating batch will not be officially involved in their co-curricular activities and student leadership anymore.

And that, no matter how much spare time it frees up for all our studies, is really heart-breaking. :'(

Here are most of the pictures I have from this day. The various dedications I have to each group has been depicted in the post "Recapture".

SYF Arts Presentation 2013

It's over!

All these months of hard work and toiling has paid off. Last Friday(12/4/2013), the Temasek Chorale managed to pull off their best shot ever on stage for the Arts Presentation at SOTA, and we leave feeling sated and content :D Our setpiece "Singapore, Our Home" was absolutely musical and "Night in the Woods" was pure magic. Our last piece, "The Crown of Sang Nila" was the cherry on top; it definitely had enough power to make a lasting impression.

Listen to the audio here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRSGNAbtMxA

Anyway, here are a fraction of the pics as I had for the event.




I'll never forget the times we had in preparation for this big day choir. You guys have left a giant footprint on my heart. Truckloads of love for each and every one of you :) WE SING AS ONE.

Recapture.

re·cap·ture (r-kpchr)
tr.v. re·cap·tured, re·cap·tur·ing, re·cap·tures
1. To capture again.
2. To acquire by the government procedure of recapture.
3. To recall: an attempt to recapture the past.

It's been a real long journey since I first stepped into Temasek. Long, arduous and painstakingly difficult. But infinitesimally rewarding.

Since I joined the Temasek Chorale. Since I joined Student Council. Since I found XinYi and Marcus. All these experiences will be rooted in my head for life, for they made me grow up- in every sense of the word.

Everyone remember their first day in their CCA? I do. I remember Miss Ho(my ex-RSS choir Conductor), the then Conductor, and Mrs Soh Bhee Pheng(is that even how you spell it?) and her somewhat-caring nature, as both history and choir teacher-in-charge before she left TMS. Really ancient stuff. Miss them both! Then I started hanging with XY and Marc. That was the beginning to really fruitful friendships that I would cherish for life. XY would overload me with her daily dose of shitty Upper Secondary life- I was indirectly given crash-courses on the inner works of social society in school, became much more open-minded. Without her, I would have harbored a 10-year-old mindset till now. She made me go through way more than the typical annoying narrow-minded little rascal most kids my age would've been.

Am I opening up too much? Whatever.

Marcus would be there with me throughout both my junior years. We just chilled and laughed and had wild fun. We would have lunch at Siglap almost every day, and just talk about stuff. Those were the times indeed. Then there is Mr Darius Lim, my current TMSChorale Conductor. He's the kind of coolio, spiff korkor cousin everyone wants. Marc and I went out with him often enough, together with Doran! Haha. Memories. (^_^) Anyway, I took the choir under my wing when I was elected as Chairman. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't too difficult- but I would have shrank like a soaked sponge without my invincible wingmen Ruth and Doran. We leave our legacies behind when we step down, and I bring along with myself greater boldness, initiative and responsibility.

The short span of time I had spent in Student Council(3yrs++) was life changing. Adding to the great list of impacts XY already made on me, she was the one who diverted my decision to join Council instead of the Peer Support Leaders. Heck, I had even volunteered myself for most PSL events before the enrollment began. She convinced me that I was better suited for SCL. And I never ever regretted making that decision. In the end, I rose to the position of Vice-President. The best reward? Everything I had learnt there. Handling events, handling people, PR, everything. It's these kinds of things that remain in your heart and mind for life. I've made some very important friends in Council- Ariel, Nailah, Randy, Heng Kai, Fauzi- the list goes on- and some of the best memories ever. Oooooorahhh.

So this post was a huge insight into my personal history. Hope it sates any of your hunger for it anyway LOL. Haters gonnnna hate!

Peace ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

Rewind.

So over these past few years life has been nice enough too me... I guess?

Life in secondary school does has its fair share of ups and downs. I remember what I was like in Lower Secondary. Utterly childish(maybe still am), narrow-minded and completely oblivious to the inner workings of social life. I shrugged off my responsibilities all the time and treated relationships like hand-held games. But there was the good. I forged some of the most important and heartwarming friendships ever in my life. I still miss the times when I would just hang out with my friends to play and completely relax, not having any problems to worry about. Studies? Pffft. Back then I was still getting decent grades. Social life? Seamless. When you're fourteen going on fifteen, and so forth to sixteen, you barely had to give a damn about betrayal, lies, scheming- the list goes on. Everyone(or at least most people) was content at least eighty-percent of the time.

I had my own list of eye-candies and infatuations too, sure. Back in those days we would always gossip and talk about any jewels we could find in the school. Sounds nasty, but we've all done that at least once ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Then came Upper Secondary. It was like a great tsunami- it brought forth great change, and the one thing it's most famed for: a monolithic, flawlessly packaged, immaculately polished tidal wave of bullshit. (Make sure you add the stress on "bull"- makes it sound better)

People changed. And I'm not talking about bulging muscles, pubic hair or cup size. I'm talking about personality and character. Mixing around with new people and doing new things- it can do horrible things to people. Many of people grew detached, developed the wrong bonds with people, got backstabbed- I watched the whole cycle. Over the course of 2 years I saw many people throwing themselves into the deep ends of the abyss. Losing hope, losing their faith in life. People becoming complete As. We must all eventually learn to grow up- not in the sense that of cracking less childish jokes(One of my closest pals has the humor of an eight-year old)- but in the sense that we cannot harbor grudges for the most trivial reasons. I came across this line recently:



Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the price of energy and the waste of headspace.



Just spare some of your time and think about it.
That's all for a quick wrap-up of my mental being throughout these years. There's so much to talk about, but I think I'll end this post here for now.

Reboot.

Just got back to Blogger! Been almost 4 years since I last posted in my old Blog.

So I was casually re-reading it. Having started it in 2008 its contents are... aged..? Does that even make sense? LOL anyway I felt that its URL was just plain ugly and things needed a fresh start anyway. It's been more than 3 years since I last posted in it so I'll have some catching up to do as well.

My friend Min Zhe and I were just derping around and reading others' blogs when the notion of remaking one came to my mind. Then I thought, "Why the hell not?". So I spent quite a long time coming up with the URL and stuff. I'm really particular about such things >:[ I settled with "Carousel Of Wolves" because wolves are synonymous with my name, which actually means "Shield Wolf". And carousel because... why the hell not? XD

The designs will vary over time, that's for sure! Like I said, I'm very particular about this kind of custom modification stuff. Maybe I'll have pictures, or fantasy art, or a mix of both. Yay :'D

This is just an introduction, there won't be any real-time posts yet but I'll start that soon enough! Stay tuned (✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞